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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Anesthetic Doesn't Make It Go Away - What I wish I could have said

These are things I wish I could have said to my mother, but it wasn't safe.
The individual tear drops say:

Why won't anyone believe me?

I'd like to hit her so hard her false teeth fly out.

If I'm real quiet, maybe she won't hit me.

Motherhood requires something more than just being too stupid to use birth control.

Maybe if I'd been born a boy, she would have liked me.

Why did you steal the money I got for confirmation gifts?

I tried to kill myself when I was 11.


Sarah said...

You know, reading these 2 most recent entries of yours brought back the domestically violent years with my first husband. We never think of it in terms of mother/daughter, however. How strong you have become, and how brave to finally be able to publicly acknowledge such pain and have it dwindle. I really admire your work -- especially the pretty feather stitching around each of the ugly statements.

Sarah Ann Smith said...

Thank heavens you didn't succeed and are here today. May the pain evaporate and drift away forever, hugs, Sarah (another one, in Maine)

Ferret said...

Great quilts, I'm so glad someone is putting difficult issues into quilts. I have something similar in the planning but was worried what others would think. That really isn't the point is it. Thanks

Shoshana said...

Deb, I know how difficult it was/is to face these things and bring them out into the light. But rest assured, these thoughts and memories flourish only in dark dank places. In the light of the sun they slowly wither and die. Bravo to you for the courage not only to express these things but to share them.