Shalom

A few years ago, I discovered my maternal grandmother’s horrid German was really Yiddish. My grandmother had learned those words from her maternal grandmother who spoke Hoch Deutsch. This part of my family is from East Prussia and all business in East Prussia was conducted in Hoch Deutsch. But at home, they spoke Yiddish.

There’s a direct maternal line from East Prussia to me. I am Jewish. Even though I was raised Catholic, Jewish is what I always was and always will be. It’s who I am and it’s encoded in my genes.

Neither Jim nor I grew up in a happy home. Both of us were raised in a violent, alcoholic environment. I don’t recommend this. We survived, but not without lasting wounds.

I used to go into a deep depression from the third week in November until New Years. Holidays in my home were horrible. There was fighting, yelling and crying. And that was just the holiday meal!

Jim once got a Christmas present from his father; an IOU for a present.

We now live two time zones away from family. Christmas was easier, but it still brought back a sack full of bad memories for both of us. I tried new traditions and made Christmas Knishes. The bad memories still came and haunted us.

Hanukkah is a much nicer holiday. It comes without stress and without horrible memories. It carries no emotional baggage. It is not Christmas and I hope it never is. We went to a public menorah lighting during Hanukkah. It was wonderful to hear Hanukkah music and to celebrate being Jewish instead of hiding behind a smile.

I am surrounded by clerks who wish me Happy Holidays, Christmas music, and people who assume I celebrate Christmas. They mean well; I must not snarl at them no matter how I feel. I remind myself of the joy of the public menorah lighting and return the good wishes.

Sometimes, I can use the moment for education. I was asked recently if I were ready for the holidays. I said I was already having my holiday, it’s Hanukkah.

At work, I handed out Hanukkah cards and Hanukkah gifts rather than Christmas gifts.

If you celebrate Christmas, I wish you the joys of the holiday. I wish for you the erasure of all sad memories associated with Christmas that you may have.

For all of you, I wish you shalom – the peace that goes far deeper than the absence of hostility. I wish you the peace that permeates your soul and heals the hurt inside of you.