Getting the DVR to Record

I have Direct TV, but my DVR is a stand alone unit and I was told it was simple to use. Hah! I can set it to record, but when I try to play back, I get fuzz. 

What am I doing wrong? Better yet - send me a 12-year-old. I wonder if today's kids have any idea how much money they could make hiring themselves out as tech advisors to the folks like me.